Herman Lubbers
June 27, 1934 - August 26, 2021
Dear friends,
Herman Lubbers, a beloved member of the Fellowship of Friends, completed his task at 00:00 (midnight) in Amsterdam, 3 p.m. California time, August 26. Herman was suffering from cancer and died in his sleep, between the anniversary of his mother’s death, August 26, and the birthday of his grandson, Rocky, August 27.
Herman was born on June 27, 1934, and joined the school in Amsterdam in October 1998. During his time in the school, he was a strong supporter of the Amsterdam center, along with his wife Elisabeth, for two decades, living also for a time in Lvov, Ukraine, and at Apollo. Herman turned 87 on his last birthday. As Vittoria Lubbers notes, “Every day as long as we could remember he would write down the daily card in his notebook in beautiful calligraphy—one of his talents. In his last weeks, you could see he was making a lot of efforts to be always with us despite being in a lot of pain and he never complained about it! Truly transforming his suffering.”
On behalf of all who knew you, we thank thee.
In loving presence,
Rowena Taylor
for the Elysian Society
A painting is complete when it has the shadow of a god.
Rembrandt
Eulogy, read at the funeral service in Amsterdam:
Beste Herman, goede vriend,
Het is een grote schok om hier nu zo te staan en een woord tot je te spreken waarvan ik niet weet of je het kan horen. Maar ik weet zeker, als het aan jou lag, zou je zeker luisteren, want dat was een van je grootste kwaliteiten die ik in je gekend heb.
Mijn vroegste herinnering aan jou gaat terug naar 1998, met een groot diner aan de Herengracht. Elisabeth en jij waren net bij de School gekomen en brachten jullie levenservaring mee, ik vond dat heel mooi. We zaten vlak bij elkaar.
Onze vriendschap ontwikkelde zich verder toen Melanie en ik naar een woning zochten in Amsterdam met ons eerste kind Yoav. Niet alleen boden jullie aan dat we bij jullie mochten komen wonen, maar jullie gaven ons zelfs jullie grote slaapkamer. Al de tijd dat wij bij jullie woonden, voelden wij ons thuis, niet als gasten. Als wij naar ons werk gingen, paste Elisabeth met veel liefde op Yoavje en jij maakte prachtige foto’s van hem. Die hebben wij natuurlijk nog steeds. Kleine anekdote: Ik voelde me zo gelukkig bij jullie, dat, toen jij op een dag voorzichtig vroeg hoe lang wij nog dachten te blijven, ik antwoordde: ‘oh, misschien nog 3 tot 6 maanden.’ Gelukkig begreep Melanie de hint wel en verhuisden wij naar een andere woning.
Onze vriendschap werd verder gevoed door onze wederzijdse waardering en begrip voor het Werk, dat we allebei ouders waren en natuurlijk het Boekhoudoctaaf in het Centrum. Ik bewonderde enigzins jouw papieren systeem, een systeem waarmee je de mutaties dubbel controleerde en alles altijd tot op de cent klopte. Ik nam het van je over en deed hetzelfde. Zo wisselden wij diverse keren en bleef het boekhouden een derde kracht voor ons contact.
Tussendoor zagen we elkaar regelmatig, thuis, of kwamen we elkaar tegen in de buurt en maakten een praatje. En nog niet zo lang geleden hebben we een wandeling gemaakt in het Amsterdamse Bos. We spraken niet eens zoveel, maar genoten van de natuur, echt heel fijn was dat, ik zal het nooit vergeten.
Beste Herman, jij bent een deel van mij geworden, ik heb geleerd van je helderheid, zachtheid en gelijkmatigheid met altijd je belangstelling naar buiten gericht, met open ogen die keken en oren die luisterden. Een voorbeeld.
Dankjewel voor alles. Ik zal je missen.
Dave
Herbert was a gentleman, in the best sense of the word. In his profession he had worked with problem children, and this developed a great patience, warmth, and tolerance in his nature. He had also absorbed the very best of European culture. And to this he added presence, valuing it as the crown to all else that had developed in him. It was a privilege to have known him.
Dear Elizabeth,
I am so grateful that, as a new student, I had the opportunity to have dinner with you, Herman and Kuniko and that we watched a broadcast with Robert. Although Herman was already very vulnerable at that time, we all felt the strong connection of our souls. And this soul connection took me to your house and to the funeral that was so beautiful. It’s strange that a year has passed since then. Wish you and your family nothing but Love.
Liefs, Jacqueline
I am thinking about all of you Elisabeth, Victoria, Peter, David, Rocky and Shawn and sending love.
I will miss your gentle smile dear Herman and seating with you when we would visited your home. Grateful for the moments we had with you in your home dinning together before the meeting and you would read to us the Daily Card before dinner. Farewell!
“Death is our friend precisely because it brings us into absolute and passionate presence with all that is here, that is natural, that is love…Reiner Maria Rilke
Thank you Herman,
Like the old householders of the past who joined monasteries after they had finished their responsibilities in life, you and Elisabeth joined our school at that same time in your lives.
And you brought with you a child like relationship to Presence – as a practice and always more than a topic for conversation. You had a unique and refreshing view.
I always learned something from spending time with you.
Perhaps something about the dignity of living with a body that no longer performed as expected.
The willingness to engage despite discomfort.
Curiosity.
Humor.
Thank you so much Herman, for all that you gave!
William Galvin
With much gratitude to Herman for being such an elegant and bright host when we stayed in Amsterdam. My heartfelt condolences to Elizabeth and all the family.
Sweet Herman,
it was an honor and a pleasure to get to know you, even briefly!
Thank you for teaching me wordlessly, as a new student, how poise and humor can go together. Thank you for always aspiring to a high note in all you did.
Dear Elizabeth and family, my heartfelt condolences.
Keep being YOU!
Dear Elisabeth, Peter & Vittoria, David and loved ones.
My tears and my gratitude flow together. . .
and wish you all a transition and transformation that honors Herman’s
contribution to our lives. . .Heartfelt memories endure.
Nicholas Spaulding
I first met Herman on a trip to Apollo when we were both new students. To share, at an event, that newness of experiencing a magical world, created an indelible memory. His valuation was inspiring.
Sterkte..
My sincere condolence.
I am so grateful to have met and known Herman.
So lucky we have been able to enjoy his sparkle of presence.
With Love,
Ingrid
We remember him as a kind, gentle man!